Ep. 56 - What to Do If She Sends You Ring Pics When You've Already Bought The Ring

In this episode I'm going to address something that is rare, but it DOES happen, and if it happens to you,  it can bring on a not-so-slight feeling of dread.  And I don’t think I’m being overly dramatic when I use that word.

I'm talking about a simple text from your girlfriend or significant other, and it’s a picture of a ring that she sends you, AFTER you’ve already ordered, or bought, the ring that she told you was the perfect one.

Now if you’re already married and this is a second ring, like maybe an upgrade, or it’s a big anniversary gift, the same thing can happen to you,  and just like someone who’s buying an engagement ring, it kinda sucks, or at least it seems that way at first.

So here you are, having her dream ring made, or you already bought it, and it's the very ring that you spent time searching for with her, and it’s the one that she said was her favorite and the one she wanted if you were going to buy a ring and propose.

That part is done, or so you thought, and now you’re ready to move on to the next step, which is the proposal.  It’s all very exciting, almost magical, because you’re going to give her the ring of  her dreams as you ask for her hand in marriage.

And then, out of the blue, while you’re just doing your thing and biding your time, you get a text from her with a picture of a ring that is definitely not the one she said she definitely wanted.

If this happens to you, or already happened to you, you’re not alone, and you don’t need to worry all that much.

Last week a young man named Cole contacted me because this very thing happened to him. He was not overly panicked, but worried enough, because his girlfriend sent him a few pictures of rings that were NOT like the one that he was having made for her.  The one she picked out and told him was THE ring.

I’m not gonna lie, my heart sank a little too, because I'm in the jewelry business, and we want our clients to be successful when they give something as important and impactful as an engagement ring. (Or that big anniversary gift for you married souls.)

I did what I mostly do when these male/female dynamics appear to throw a wrench in the best laid plans: I ask my wife Jenn what this is all about, and then I ask all the women I work with the same thing, and generally, there is a consensus, and then I report back to my clients,  or in this case, the world, through this podcast. (I gotta say, being surrounded by female perspectives is invaluable when things like this happen.)

Jenn said, “Pffft.  She doesn’t want a different ring.  She’s just ready to get engaged.  These are heavy hints, because as far as she knows he hasn’t done anything yet.  The pictures are nudges.”

And there’s your intel, fella’s.  Who woulda thunk it?

All this time jewelers, and most guys, think it’s about the ring, but the ring is a subset of the big picture. Of course deep down we all know this, and according to Jenn and the other women I work with, texting pictures of rings late in the game is more of a reminder than a style change.  A gentle nudge if you will.

What she’s most likely saying to you with these texts, is, “I’m ready to get engaged.” And that should give you a whole different level of comfort and confidence, that she is going to say YES, when you utter those magic words, “Will you marry me.”

Maybe getting her the EXACT ring she picked out isn’t the most important thing.  (But by all means, if she was super specific, and it makes your life easier by doing so, have at it.) If she sends a few pictures after you’ve started the process, or bought the ring, don’t worry too much. What she’s probably saying is, “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. Now hurry up and propose, will ya?”